2008 4l60e rebuilt with beast sunshell, alto z pack 3-4 clutch pack and Superior shift kit.

First rebuilt of a trans for myself so I was surprised when all the gears worked after I installed. The ONLY thing I noticed at the time was when warmed up the 1-2 shift would 'shudder' a bit starting at 25% throttle or more. It also shudders when manually shifting into second with load on engine. I had read that the vette servo may help this and was a good upgrade so I bought it and installed it. Shudder is still there but 1-2 if much stiffer (borderline tolerable) and 2-3 got SUPER stiff. I wasn't expecting any change in the 2-3. I figured I'd go back to the stock servo and at the same time I did that I put a new cam in my 5.3. So when I got it all back together I was out with a heavier foot and now with the stock servo I notice the shifts are smooth again (still has the shudder) BUT I now notice a 300-400 flare on the 2-3 under moderate acceleration. I can even see it in the log file as a little curved up ramp on the RPM. Once again, I put the vette servo back in and now the flare is gone but I have very stiff shifts again. (my biggest worry as I lost 3-4 before after 170K and all I can picture is the frictions burning up everytime it flares)

My question is, is there anything I can do on the tuning side of this while keeping the vette servo? maybe soften/slow down the 1-2 a little AND 2-3 as well? I almost want something right in the middle of the stock servo and the vette servo. Right now I have stock settings in my tune.